Reader Response

As we were learning paraphrasing and summarising before, reader response can be counted as the first official encounter to academic essay. To ease us into academic essay, we were ask to choose between 3 news articles to summarise. The chosen article then became the topic for our reader response and the summary became our introduction, my article was on wealth inequality in Singapore.

We were then taught on the purpose of reader response essay and how to write one, which we were then required to produce the first draft of reader response.
Draft 1

Afterwards, we had an in class peer review on our drafts. I had initially thought that what I've written was of poor standard as I was not sure of what I was doing. However, after the peer review, I had gain some confidence in knowing that I had managed to meet some of criteria. There was not much to change as our peer review did not consist of the language of the essay, but more of the flow. But one tip I picked up from this review was that I could not just show the evidence to back up my point, rather, I have to further explain how the evidence link to my point.

After we made changes on the draft, we then handed that in to our professor (Ms Anita) for further review.
Draft 2 - with professor's comments

After receiving back the review from Ms Anita, we then have to do up our final draft and submit it for grading. From the comments received, I've found out the the language for my essay was the biggest problem and my points were not linking back to the thesis statement. In addition to that, my topic sentence for the paragraph on entrepreneurship was throwing people off on my thesis statement. I've changed the draft to what I could submit for grading and hoped for the best.
Final Draft